The Negotiation

A monologue for middle school (grades 6-8), comedy. By FreeSchoolPlays.com.

THE CHARACTER

ALEX -- a seventh grader at the teacher's desk after class, phone locked in the top drawer, treating this like a high-stakes hostage negotiation they saw in a movie once.

THE MONOLOGUE

Okay. Okay. Let's everybody stay calm. Nobody has to get hurt here. (gestures at the drawer) I just want to talk. I want to talk about what's in that drawer.

I know how this looks. I know. It was out during class. I saw it, you saw it, we both saw it. But I need you to understand -- that's not just a phone. That has my whole LIFE on it. My contacts. My photos. A streak with my cousin that we have kept alive for four hundred and twelve days. Four hundred and TWELVE, Mr. Reyes. You break that streak, and you're not breaking a number. You're breaking a family.

So here's what I'm thinking. Here's the deal. (leans in) You give me the phone, just for ONE second, and I text my cousin, and then I give it right back. I hand it to you. I put it in your hand. You don't even have to trust me -- you hold my whole backpack. You take my LUNCH. I'll give you my lunch, and it's a good lunch today, it's the good chips.

(pause, changing tactics, softer) How about this. What do YOU want. Everybody wants something. You want the whiteboards cleaned? Done. You want somebody to carry the recycling? I'm your guy. For the whole year. I will become the recycling. Just... give me a window here.

(the teacher clearly says no; Alex straightens up, defeated but dignified) Fine. FINE. My parent picks it up at three-thirty. I know the terms. (starts to leave, turns back) Just -- if it buzzes? Tell it I said I'm okay. Tell my cousin I went down protecting the streak.

PERFORMANCE NOTE

Commit to the movie-cop genre completely -- the funnier choice is total seriousness, as if a phone in a drawer is a genuine standoff. Let Alex cycle fast through tactics: threats, then bribery, then heartfelt appeal, then bargaining. The turn is the quiet dignity of the surrender at the end; playing the loss as a noble sacrifice for a text streak is the biggest laugh.

An original work by FreeSchoolPlays.com, free to perform -- attribution the only requirement.

Audition prep notes

Full piece: 5 beats, ~277 words -- very short (Under 2 minutes), about 2 min at a natural pace.

Start with the objective

Before you run it, name your character's objective in one sentence: what do they want in this moment, and what is in the way of getting it easily? Pace, volume, and movement all follow from that one sentence, not the other way around.

Map the beats

The current text breaks into 5 spoken beats. Use those breaks as a starting map, but test each one: a beat ends where the character's tactic changes, not merely where the paragraph does -- two paragraph-breaks may play as a single acting beat, or one may split into two.

Pacing for this length -- very short

Economy is everything at this length: cut any preparatory movement before your first line, and land the final beat cleanly rather than adding a button. Under 2 minutes, this often plays as one unbroken thought.

Delivery approach -- Comedy

Comic timing lives in the pause before the turn, not the punchline itself. Find the setup-and-turn shape in each beat and hold a beat longer than feels natural before you land it.

Framing for Middle school (6–8)

You are ready to work two things at once: an outer action and an inner feeling that does not fully match it. Look for one moment where the character says one thing but means something else, and let your face -- not your voice -- carry the gap.

Forensics eligibility -- Humorous Interpretation

This piece reads as Humorous Interpretation. That classification is illustrative only -- not official, not an NSDA, NCFL, or UIL certification. Always verify current eligibility with your event's own published rules before entering it in competition.

Generic coaching guidance for actors preparing this piece -- not a substitute for your director's or coach's notes.

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