Chaperone
- Performer
- Audition / event
- Title
- Chaperone
- Attribution
- by FreeSchoolPlays.com
- Source
- Original work
- Length
- ~2 min (278 words, whole piece)
- Cut
- Full monologue (5 beats).
"Chaperone", by FreeSchoolPlays.com, via FreeSchoolPlays.com. Free to perform; attribution required.
Okay. I need you to understand that I asked for one thing. ONE thing. I said, "You can chaperone, but you have to be a wall. A quiet, boring wall that hands out pretzels." And my parent looked me in the eye and said, "I promise." (beat) That was a lie. That was a lie told to a child.
The DJ played the first song. The very first one. And I hear, from across the gym, over everyone, a voice go, "OH, THIS IS MY JAM." My jam. It was not their jam. It has never been their jam. But suddenly they knew every word, and the words they didn't know they just made LOUDER.
And then -- (covers face) -- the dancing. There's a move. I don't have a name for it. It's like they were fighting a bee and also stirring a giant invisible soup. At the same time. In front of the entire seventh and eighth grade. People were filming. There is footage.
I tried to hide by the water fountain. And they FOUND me. They came over, they put a hand on my shoulder, in front of Priya, and they said, loudly, "Are you having fun, buddy? Do you want me to introduce you to anyone?" INTRODUCE me. To the people I have gone to school with since I was five.
And here's the worst part. Here's the part that ruins me. (pause) Everyone said they were the best chaperone. Everyone LOVED them. Three separate kids told me my parent is "a legend." A legend. (beat, defeated) So now I have to keep them. I can't even be mad. I'm gonna go make them breakfast. Ugh.
"Chaperone", by FreeSchoolPlays.com, via FreeSchoolPlays.com. Free to perform; attribution required.
Audition prep notes
Full piece: 5 beats, ~278 words -- very short (Under 2 minutes), about 2 min at a natural pace.
Start with the objective
Before you run it, name your character's objective in one sentence: what do they want in this moment, and what is in the way of getting it easily? Pace, volume, and movement all follow from that one sentence, not the other way around.
Map the beats
The current text breaks into 5 spoken beats. Use those breaks as a starting map, but test each one: a beat ends where the character's tactic changes, not merely where the paragraph does -- two paragraph-breaks may play as a single acting beat, or one may split into two.
Pacing for this length -- very short
Economy is everything at this length: cut any preparatory movement before your first line, and land the final beat cleanly rather than adding a button. Under 2 minutes, this often plays as one unbroken thought.
Delivery approach -- Comedy
Comic timing lives in the pause before the turn, not the punchline itself. Find the setup-and-turn shape in each beat and hold a beat longer than feels natural before you land it.
Framing for Middle school (6–8)
You are ready to work two things at once: an outer action and an inner feeling that does not fully match it. Look for one moment where the character says one thing but means something else, and let your face -- not your voice -- carry the gap.
Forensics eligibility -- Humorous Interpretation
This piece reads as Humorous Interpretation. That classification is illustrative only -- not official, not an NSDA, NCFL, or UIL certification. Always verify current eligibility with your event's own published rules before entering it in competition.
Generic coaching guidance for actors preparing this piece -- not a substitute for your director's or coach's notes.
Free to read, print, and perform. No royalty, no performance fee. The credit line above is required and is placed automatically on this packet; keep it in your program and audition materials.